Okay, grab your coffee (or wine, no judgment here), because I need to have a real heart-to-heart with you. You know that feeling when you’re scrolling through your feed at 11 PM, and suddenly everyone is obsessed with “tomato girl summer” or “quiet luxury” or whatever the algorithm has decided we’re all supposed to care about this week? And you’re sitting there in your five-year-old sweatpants thinking, “Wait, am I doing life wrong?”
I had one of those moments last Tuesday. I was at Target, wearing a striped shirt that I bought in 2019, and I saw a girl in the checkout line wearing these tiny, ridiculous sunglasses—like, the kind you’d see on a cartoon bug. And my first thought was, “Huh, that’s a choice.” My second thought was, “Should I be wearing those?” And my third thought, thank goodness, was, “Emma, you are 34 years old. You have a kid who just ate a crayon. You do not need bug sunglasses to feel alive.”
But that moment got me thinking about how we treat trends and opinions in general. We’re so quick to either bow down to them or rage against them. We’ve turned “having an opinion” into a full-time job, and honestly? I’m exhausted. So today, I want to share my honest, unfiltered thoughts on trends, opinions, and how to survive the noise without losing yourself. Let’s dive in.
The Trend Trap: Why We Chase What We Don’t Even Like
Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about trends—they’re not really about the item or the style. They’re about belonging. When I was in middle school, it was all about having the right brand of jeans. I remember begging my mom for a pair of $90 jeans because “everyone” had them. She said no, and I threw a fit that would have won an Oscar. Looking back, I can’t even remember the brand name now. But I remember the feeling of being left out. That’s the real product, isn’t it? The fear of being left behind.
Fast forward to now, and the trends are faster and louder than ever. One week it’s “clean girl aesthetic,” the next it’s “mob wife makeup.” I saw a video yesterday of a woman explaining why we should all be wearing “balletcore” to run errands. Balletcore! I haven’t done a plié since I was seven, and I’m pretty sure my mom still has the video of me falling over at my recital. But for a split second, I thought, “Maybe I need a tutu for my grocery run?”
And that’s the trap. Trends are designed to make you feel like you’re missing out on a secret club. But here’s my hot take: Most trends are just marketing dressed up as self-expression. They’re not telling you who you are; they’re telling you who to buy from. I’m not saying don’t have fun with fashion or try new things—please do! I love a good trend. But I’ve learned to ask myself one question before I buy into anything: “Do I actually like this, or do I just want to feel included?” If it’s the latter, I put it down and walk away. My wallet and my closet thank me.
Opinions Are Like… Well, You Know the Saying
Now let’s talk about opinions. Oh boy. We live in a world where everyone has a platform, and everyone feels the need to share their take on literally everything—from the best way to fold a fitted sheet (it’s a myth, you can’t) to whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it does, fight me). And I’m all for free speech, but I’ve noticed something: we’ve confused “having an opinion” with “being right.”
I had a moment last week that really drove this home. I was at a playdate with my mom friends, and somehow we got onto the topic of screen time. You know, the ultimate mom guilt trigger. One friend said she’s strictly no screens until age five. Another said she lets her toddler watch an hour of Ms. Rachel every morning just so she can shower in peace. And I’m sitting there thinking, “I let my kid watch a 10-minute clip of a train song while I eat a granola bar in the pantry like it’s a secret mission.”
But here’s what I didn’t do: I didn’t judge. And you know why? Because I’ve been on both sides of that coin. I used to be the “my way is the best way” mom. Then my kid had a meltdown at a restaurant, and I handed him my phone with a cartoon on it, and suddenly I was the villain in my own story. It’s humbling, y’all.
So here’s my opinion on opinions: They’re not facts. They’re just your personal GPS based on your life’s map. Your opinion on parenting, fashion, food, or politics is shaped by your upbringing, your bank account, your sleep schedule, and your trauma. That doesn’t make it wrong, but it also doesn’t make it universal. I’ve started practicing what I call “soft opinions.” I say things like, “That’s not for me, but I’m glad it works for you.” It sounds simple, but it’s genuinely changed how I interact with people. I’m less defensive, more curious, and honestly, I learn a lot more.
How I Curate My Own “Trend Diet” (And You Can Too)
So how do we navigate this crazy landscape without losing our minds? I’ve developed a little system, and I want to share it with you because it’s been a game-changer for my mental health and my closet.
- Wait 30 days. If I see a trend and I still want it a month later, I’ll consider it. If I forget about it by then, it wasn’t meant to be. This has saved me from buying a pair of those weird baggy cargo pants that I would have worn exactly zero times.
- Ask “Who benefits?” Is this trend making me feel bad about myself so I’ll buy a product? If the answer is yes, I scroll past. It’s not a coincidence that the “perfect” looks on social media are always tagged with affiliate links.
- Define your “signature.” I have a friend who always wears red lipstick. Another who only wears gold jewelry. They’re not trend chasers; they have a vibe. I’ve realized my vibe is “cozy but put-together,” which means I invest in good jeans and soft sweaters, and I skip the neon eyeliner. Knowing your signature makes trends feel like optional sprinkles, not the whole cake.
And for opinions? I’ve started doing something radical: I allow myself to be undecided. I don’t have to have a hot take on every single thing. I can say, “I’m still figuring that out.” It’s so freeing. You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room or the most opinionated. You just have to be honest.
I remember a time when I felt like I had to have a strong stance on everything—even things I knew nothing about, like cryptocurrency or the best way to season a cast iron skillet. It was exhausting. Now, I’m happy to say, “I don’t know, but I’m curious to hear what you think.” And you know what? People love that. It opens doors instead of slamming them.
The Heart of It All
At the end of the day, trends and opinions are just tools. They can help us express ourselves, connect with others, and have fun. But they can also become cages if we let them. I’ve been guilty of letting a trend make me feel inadequate, and I’ve been guilty of letting my own opinions make me feel superior. Neither of those feelings feels good in the long run.
So here’s my final, heartfelt takeaway: You are not a mood board. You are not a hot take. You are a whole, messy, beautiful human being. The best trend you can follow is the one that makes you feel like the most authentic version of yourself—whether that’s wearing bug sunglasses or rocking your favorite old hoodie. And the best opinion you can have is the one that leaves room for grace—for yourself and for others.
Next time you see a trend and feel that little pang of “should I?”—pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself if it brings you joy or just anxiety. And next time you hear an opinion you disagree with, remember that they’re just doing their best with the map they’ve been given. We’re all just out here trying to find our people, our style, and our peace.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, friend. Now go put on whatever makes you feel like you—and maybe skip the balletcore unless you actually love tutus. I’ll be over here in my 2019 striped shirt, living my best life. 🤍
